You make all things new...

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and the mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through

I'll be found in You.


Thank you Trent for introducing me to Brooke Fraser. I wish I could write like her. She has wrangled all my crazy thoughts and put them down in a more eloquent way than I could ever hope to achieve. My top songwriters? Patty Griffin, Brooke Fraser, Ben Gibbard (DCFC, What Sarah Said- Genius), John Mayer, James Taylor. The end.

Sorry I got side-tracked by my love of words put to melodies.

The last two nights I have been fed spiritually. First by a group of women who I hope to call sisters in the near future. I felt a stirring in my heart to check out this Bible study, an urge, a quiet whisper. The kind you can't ignore as much as you try to take a nap to forget or make other plans. So I went and found what my soul had been craving. Its like I realized I was dying of thirst and these women were offering me water. I'm so excited to see where the Lord takes this. Last night I was challenged by my community group, dear sweet friends who I have let fall to the side as I struggled with papers, rehearsals and other time consuming projects. They loved, supported and prayed for me even while I was absent. ErinFaith, my sweet, fierce, passionate friend was continuing her topic on the awareness of God and encountering Him. I was quickly filled in on the past weeks and learned they had been discussing the reality of God being everywhere. Last night, Erin was on fire. I could see this was a topic that she had so many things to say that she might actually burst. I smiled and prepared to be immersed in her free-thinking but Biblically founded logic. We pulled out numerous Scriptures on encounters with God. All of them vastly different but all encounters nonetheless. Erin mentioned how these people had experiences with God in ordinary and extreme ways. She then asked us how WE experience God, if we even experience God at all. My thought immediately jumped to when I'll have those moments where it just clicks. One more ounce of Truth is revealed to me or I finally understand what a passage is trying to say. My "ah-HA!" moments. But on a more consistent basis: sitting at Fido (or another coffee shop) with my journal, Bible, and a few books. I sit and come before the Throne. This is my time to remove distraction and focus on Him. Do "date" Jesus. But Erin challenged us to a new way. Pick one ordinary thing in your life, something that makes you angry, frustrates you, something you are apathetic to, your favorite song, whatever, and expect God to show up in it. If we really say that HE is everywhere, then we need to pray and expect Him to show up in the mundane.

This freaked me out. I tend to keep my life in neat little boxes and rarely mix them up. Sure, the Lord knows what's in each container and I'll let Him dig through them, but I don't want Him to mix and match this with that. Opening up ordinary moments of my day to an encounter with God is scary and big and needed.

I've been struggling. Struggling with this wilderness and a relationship that perpetuates my feelings of fear that the Lord will fail me right when I need Him most... right when it comes to matters of my heart... to the wellspring of my life and the secret desire I share with none but so desperately want just one to know. My soul woke up, and with that awakening came a scary realization that once it has seen greatness, it can't ever be satisfied with less.

"My daughters, I urge you, do not awaken love before it so desires"

So- I decided to welcome Jesus into my wilderness. To expect Him to show up when I get frustrated with this situation and when anxiety starts to creep into my spirit. In the Practice of the Presence of God, Brother Lawrence says that anxiety is a CHOICE. I choose to become anxious because I lose sight of who I am and the purpose of my life. I allow anxiety to enter when I forget that this life is not about me. So why not beg my Creator to come into my anxiety and be bigger than it? I can't fight it alone, that's for sure.


When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same
When I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray.


I like books. Its nerdy, I know. But I'm not going to apologize for who I am because it is who I was made to be, and if you don't love that, then another will.