I've been here a million times.

I can feel myself falling.

I can also feel myself bracing for the impact.

I always do this. I fall for the guy who doesn't fall back.

My heart is JUST starting to mend from the past year and a half. I don't want this. My focus for the next time in my life is NOT this. Taking care of 5 kids is going to be work enough. I don't need to be worrying about having a crush on someone. That's all this is. A crush. He doesn't even know my name. I've never even met him. But chances are, we'll meet. And he'll probably be cuter, funnier, and even more sweet in person. I can feel the walls coming up. All honesty, my heart is wounded from this other guy, the best kind of wound, but a wound nonetheless.

Someday I'll learn. Guys like that don't go for girls like me. And the sooner I learn that, the better off I'll be.

My daughters, I urge you, do not awaken love before it so desires.