Love, save the empty.

I loved you.

For a really long time.

To the capacity that I knew how to love, I loved you.

And you chose someone else. I should have known long ago when I first noticed her name creep up in conversation. But I was naive and believed there was a chance for us. A chance to be known and loved for the first time. I've come to accept it. I knew from the very beginning that it was going to end one of two ways, you were going to fall in love with me or fall in love with someone else.

Now I wonder if I loved you or the idea of you.

It doesn't change all those butterflies I felt or the tears I cried, it just makes me wonder if there is something out there that is so much more than I can imagine. I am excited for the next time because I'm getting better every go round. I'm choosing better and acting better.

For now, I'm making plans. Big plans. (but also making plans to change those plans....)

February, you've been alot less painful than normal but I'm ready for you to be over.

Thanks.